Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
