So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize