You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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