Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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