Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
