You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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