The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
