Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
