This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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