i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
