I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im six kinds of drunk right now
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
