And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.