At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants