mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??