Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
