Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
