Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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