lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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