the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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