the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
handjob tips. give me some.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize