If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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