Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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