I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So. Much. Porn.
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