Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
