I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
