i think my tv is drunk
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
