i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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