Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
