Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
