Do vagina's smell?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize