I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize