I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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