totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
