Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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