my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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