It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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