Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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