i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
