I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
only if we run a train.
done.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
