I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
4 words: hood of his car
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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