I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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