return my video game
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
