At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
