Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
