is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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