I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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