I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
