Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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