So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
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I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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