i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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