how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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