they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
