I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He? As in you personified your dick?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
