$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
