marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
