i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
