that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
