Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
