I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
