I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
