Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
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