he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
