When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
