the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Randomize
