i barfeds in our rink
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
