nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
As shirtless as possible
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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