I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
