So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
...so i touched it.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
